121. 3 Ways to Say No as a Mompreneur Who Wants to Protect Your Time and Energy

Phylicia Pough: 00:00:00

Hey, friend. You're listening to Harmonious Mompreneur, where faith, family, and business come together.

I'm your host, Phylicia Pough, a Christian wife, mom of two, and life and business system strategist for moms.

If you've ever felt like there just aren't enough hours in the day or find yourself craving more time for yourself but feel guilty about it, you're in the right place. While many strive for balance, I believe it's harmony, an integrated flow that works for you, that truly sustains.

Each week, I'll share insights from my personal journey and practical strategies to help you design systems that bring peace to your business and home life. So give your kids another snack, take a deep breath, and let's dive into today's episode, where we'll start creating your harmonious mompreneur life.

Hey, friends. So if you've ever said yes to something and then instantly regretted it, this episode is for you.

As mompreneurs, our time and energy are limited, and saying yes to the wrong things can drain both our time and our energy. Every yes to something is a no to something else, which is often your peace, your presence with your kids or family, or your priorities.

Okay, so today we're talking about the importance of saying no as a mompreneur who wants to protect her time and energy. Okay, but let's back up a little bit. Why is saying no sometimes hard for moms in business? Right.

Sometimes there's this feeling of guilt because you may want to be helpful, you may want to be supported, and you just may want to be available. There may be feelings of fear that comes up, fear that saying no is going to lead to missed opportunities or burning bridges.

It may also feel hard because saying yes might be a habit for you, right? You've been so conditioned by hustle culture to overextend yourself. And I talked all about hustle culture in the last episode.

So if you missed that, go ahead. And when you're done listening to this, go listen to episode 120. It's linked in the show notes now.

Last year, I found myself saying yes to a lot of things in business. Summits, bundles, collaborations. And with each yes that I gave, it came with extra work that pulled me away from my other priorities.

So it meant working more during the day instead of sticking to my usual evening work block. And working through the day more meant that it was cutting into my time and my presence with my kids.

It also took me away from focusing on getting my own business systems in order.

So there were a lot of things like on my own back end that I needed, needed to get straight, needed to get in order, but I really didn't have time to focus on it because, number one, I already had limited capacity. And then I had said yes to all of these things. And if I say yes to something, I am going to follow through.

And so I had to focus on all of those things that I said yes to instead of what was really priority and needed to be taken care of, which was the back end of my business. Now this year, I'm being much more intentional. I'm definitely saying no more often.

And I'm being very selective about the collaborations that I choose, making sure that they truly align with my priorities and my capacity. Because what I was doing before, I was just saying yes to a. Not a lot, but I was.

I said yes to more things than I should have, and some of them just were not in alignment with my priorities and my business goals. I think, though, another reason that we struggle with saying no is that there might be this belief that saying no is unkind, that it's not nice.

Right? And that's. It's actually the opposite.

Saying no is actually wise stewardship of your assignment and of what you have been given the privilege to carry, what God has given you, your gifts, your talents, your time. It's wise stewardship of those things.

When you say no, when you protect your capacity, and you do this by setting healthy boundaries and discerning what to say yes and no to, when you do that, you actually serve your clients better, you serve your family better, and it's better for your own well being. You're able to show up with more peace, which is the goal, more excellence and just more purpose.

When you are not stretched beyond what God has called you to carry. A lot of the things that we are carrying, we were never called to carry. And that's another topic for another day.

I mentioned boundaries a few seconds ago. If that's something that you know you need to work on, then I definitely recommend you check out the Harmony no Hustle private podcast.

There is an entire module in the mini audio course that focuses on creating and sticking to your boundaries. Okay, so what happens when you actually start saying no?

When you get to the place where you are prioritizing yourself, your family, your health and all those things, you're honoring your capacity and your energy. When you start saying no, what happens is that you actually create space for the right clients, the right collaborations, the right commitments.

I recently did a presentation for a summit where I talked about how Systems create space for you, right? Because many times God calls us to create and build as entrepreneurs, but we already feel like there's no time. We already have a lot on our plates.

And I was talking about how when you have systems in place, it creates space for you to be able to create the things that God has called you to create. But you know what else creates space? Saying no.

Saying no creates space for you to accept the right clients, the right collaborations and the right commitments. What else happens when you say no? When you say no, you reduce your overwhelm and your burnout. Right?

A lot of times burnout comes because we just are doing too much and we said yes to too much. And also your schedule really just becomes aligned with your values and not other people's expectations. All right, now how can we make this tangible?

How can we, you know, make this practical? I'm going to give you three practical ways that you can say no. Okay? So number one is basically creating a filter.

What I mean by this is when you are presented with an opportunity, you just ask yourself, does this align with my goals and my capacity?

It's a simple question, but if you put every opportunity through that filter or through that question, right, Instead of just saying yes or no based on how you feel about it, then you will be in a place where you're making wiser decisions. And so if that particular opportunity is not in alignment with your current goals or capacity, then it's a no. Okay, how do you actually say no?

You can use gentle. I feel like I say that word a lot to my toddler, my 3 year old. He is so rough with my, my son, who is one. But use gentle but also firm language.

Right? And so basically you could say thank you, but, and then give your reason if you want to. Right?

Or you could just say, no, thank you, but here's a few examples. Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I'm not taking on anything new right now. Thank you, but I'm not available. Right?

And it doesn't have to be that you have something else to do. You just might not be emotionally available. Or maybe what you have to do is planned rest.

And to be honest, you don't owe anyone an explanation about why you're not available. Okay, thank you, but I'm not available. You could also say something like, thanks for the invite, but I don't have the capacity for it right now.

And I've actually used these before. Somebody invited me to, I think they were having a workshop or something. And that's what I said, I said, thank you.

I really wanted to participate, but I honestly did not have the capacity for it. And that's what I said. Thanks for the invite, but I don't have the capacity for this right now. And they understood, right?

Especially if you're dealing with someone who is also a mom. And business people understand, right? So there doesn't need to be the fear of how you are going to be perceived because you are saying no.

And then finally, number three is set boundaries in your systems, right? So put some systems into place that are going to help you honor your boundaries.

This could look like blocking off your work hours, limiting your client availability. Right? And communicating that clearly to your clients. You can use inquiry forms to qualify leads.

So instead of just allowing anybody to get onto or schedule a call with you, you can qualify people through forms and then definitely take advantage of automation and automate responses where it's appropriate so that you don't have to manually, you know, say no to every invitation that you get. Okay? So I want to encourage you that you are allowed to protect your time. You are allowed to protect your time. Time is so precious.

We cannot go back and generate more time. God can be a redeemer of time, but once time has passed, we can't go back and get it right. So you are allowed to protect your time.

Your no creates space for you to rest. It creates space for clarity. It creates space for you to walk in your purpose, and it creates space for harmony.

Okay, so here's what I want you to think about and DM me on Instagram and let me know where do you need to start saying no so you can say yes to what matters most? Where do you need to start saying no so you can say yes to what matters most? DM me on Instagram. Let me know. Thank you for listening.

With grace and gratitude, I will see you in the next episode. Hey, friend. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Before you go, will you take a moment to leave a review?

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